Christian Discipline -
Our Main Goals and Tools

When starting Christian discipline we need to have some specific goals and tools in mind.

After all...we can measure our success when we know where we are going.

These ideas are from a discipline video series featuring Pastor Craig Caster of Family Discipleship Ministries.

I give him full credit for this information - it's a blessing!

Remember - these are the goals and tools for your children, no matter what age they are.

After we set these goals and tools into place, we can discuss age-appropriate Christian discipline methods.



Our Ultimate Goal - Disciplining to Maturity

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Definitions:

~ Bring them up - To bring up to maturity, to train or educate.

~ Training - Discipline, chastening, correction, educative discipline (Vines Expository Dictionary says, "Discipline that regulates character.")

~ Admonition - Instruction, warning, exhortation, any word of encouragement or reproof which leads to correct behavior.

The Bulls Eye - Our Goals For Christian Discipline

1. Morals and Values (right and wrong)

Genesis 18:19 "For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice, that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him."

2. Personal Responsibility

Titus 3:14 "And let our people also learn to maintain good works, to meet urgent needs, that they may not be unfruitful."

Proverbs 13:4 "The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

3. Self-Control

Proverbs 29:11 "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back."

2 Peter 3:17 "You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness." (NAU)

The Four Tools For Training

1. Rules - boundaries

Deuteronomy 4:13-14 "He declared to you his covenant, the Ten Commandments, which he commanded you to follow and then wrote them on two stone tablets. And the LORD directed me at that time to teach you the decrees and laws you are to follow in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess." (emphasis added)

Rules must be written out for the following reasons:

1. "It eliminates confusion for both parents and children and gives clear goals."

2. "Helps build and maintain unity between parents. Promotes a 'team spirit.'"

3. "Removes double-mindedness and unfairness."

4. "Helps us to be consistent and more apt to follow through."

2. Christian Discipline (Consequences)

Deuteronomy 11:26-28 "Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you today; and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you today, to go after other gods which you have not known." (emphasis added)

Parents must discipline their children because:

1. God commands it - Proverbs 23:13-14; Proverbs 22:6.

2. It demonstrates love - Hebrews 12:6.

3. To raise adults, not children (to raise to maturity) - Psalms 32:9.

4. To keep peace in the home - Hebrews 12:11

3. Punishment - A measured amount of pain to motivate.

*** Punishment does not include anger, yelling, cursing, or judging!

See Proverbs 23:13-14 and Hebrews 12:11

"Pain is a good thing - it teaches us as a part of life."

4. Consistency

"How important is consistency?"

No Consistency=
No Rules=
No Training=
No Peace!

"One of the reasons that parents do not like to write out their rules and disciplines is because it will hold them accountable to follow through!"

Remember:
Each child is unique in his or her own way.

Some children may need:

~ More discipline

~ More boundaries

~ Tougher consequences

Also, be prepared...

"Children may try to get revenge against their parents authority by having a bad attitude. If the child can get the parent angry it gives them some satisfaction. This is very damaging to the parents' foundation and authority."

Don't let childish tricks or attitudes affect you. Your kids will likely quit when you don't react. DO NOT engage them!

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Pastor Craig Caster has some great supplemental information on "Revenge versus Training" - check out his website and the video series for more on these topics!

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Now, let's look at some age-appropriate Christian discipline methods...

Toddlers - Two to Three Years Old

Kids - Four to Eight Years Old

Pre-Teens - Nine to Twelve Years Old

Teens - Thirteen to Eighteen Years Old

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Principles For The Use Of Spanking

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